Tag: #metoo

This will only hurt a little bit

It’s early days of 2019, but I think I am ready to call my #1 book of the year already. Busy Phillip’s autobiography, This Will Only Hurt a Little Bit. I powered through this book in a day, I barely came up for air.

I am not normally one for autobiographies. I enjoy them every now and then, but as a whole I would much prefer a fictional story, or a story telling a fuller story with lots of different perspectives, as opposed to just one person. But this is the exception.

Busy is someone I have seen around a few times but not someone I closely followed, until the #metoo movement when she appeared on Ellen. That’s when I started to hear about her story and get interested. Busy speaks candidly about her life, the good, the bad, the ugly. One thing I loved about her book, and by extension her, is that she is so honest about herself, including her flaws. Calling out when she has done something shitty, or calling out when she regrets doing something a certain way. That’s what makes her story so good, because she is someone who recognises her flaws, and still battles on with life and you root for her, you want her to have all the success in the world.

I don’t want to give anything away, but Busy’s experience as a woman and the different experiences she has had with the men around her are things that resonate with the audience, and they show her bravery, and how far she has come throughout her life. At times I wanted to go back in time and grab a younger Busy and hug her, or praise her.

Another part that I found particularly interesting, especially as an Australian is the role of Heath Ledger in her life, and the lives of those closest to her. As a Heath Ledger fan, that insight into how their lives intertwined was so interesting.

Busy is the first woman to host her own tonight show, and she deserves it. This book was an interesting insight into how she has got there, and also all the challenges she has overcome to become the inspiring woman she is today.

I give it a 5 out of 5.

The era where Handsmaid’s Tale could be a reality

For my first post, I am going with a heavy topic, but it is something that is on my mind right now because it is everywhere.

In the last week, the issue of feminism and toxic masculinity has been everywhere in the media in Australia. There are two main reasons for this; Gillette’s new ad about toxic masculinity, and on a much more somber note, the death of an Israeli student in Melbourne.

Let me start with the ad Gillette just released. For those who haven’t already seen it, you can find it here. There has been a mixed reaction to this ad, ranging from those that are praising Gillette’s move to tackle such an important issue, to those who are boycotting the brand, to those who are criticising Gillette for taking so long to reverse the damage they have done to female empowerment previously with their own ad campaigns. In my opinion, this is such an important issue and one that impacts not just the half of the population that is female, but everyone and I am glad that a company like Gillette has taken a stand. Toxic masculinity has run rampant for far too long, and all the people upset by this ad are those that are the problem. They are the people that are making women feel uncomfortable, disrespected and downright unsafe around the world.

The proof is in what has happened in Melbourne. Aiia Maasarwe. Let’s not forget her name. She is just one of the hundreds of victims of toxic masculinity this year alone. She was doing what everyone says she should be doing to keep herself safe, she was on the phone to someone whilst she was getting home, and she still became a victim. What happened to her can never be considered to be her fault. She was the victim of a cruel and violent crime, perpetrated by a man who has been brought up in a world of toxic masculinity which made him believe that he had the right to do this. That he has and deserves the power given to him through being born as a male, the right to power over a woman and to take someone else’s life. Now I know, not all males are like this. I know it is the exception, not the rule. I know there are females out there that can commit the same crimes. Statistically, though, this isn’t the case.

It goes beyond violent crime too. In daily life we see men treat women poorly. We see sexual harassment (in and outside the workforce), we see men cat calling and ogling women in the streets, we see men who can’t take no for an answer. This is the behaviour that builds, and gives the exceptions the gateway they need to commit worse crimes. This is the behaviour that empowers them and gives them justification to treat women poorly.

Just today my friend told me that whilst walking back from the gym she was harassed. A truck driver sized her up, pulled over and waited for her to walk past him so he could hang out the window and harass her. This was in the middle of the day, in a public place. She was rattled, understandably so. She was upset because she felt disrespected, she felt like it happened because she was wearing shorts (on a 40 degree Celsius day), she felt guilty because when she was put in this position and she didn’t say something. She shouldn’t have to. This man should know that this is inappropriate. He probably does know, but he knows he can get away with it because he made my friend feel powerless.

These things happen around the world every day, and sadly we seem no closer to stopping it. How long will it be before men finally understand that all of this is not ok. That the women in their life shouldn’t be treated as substandard, or resources for their own enjoyment.

Handsmaid’s tale has exploded in popularity recently, and do you want to know why? It is so real for us all right now. We can see a future where we are forced back into a world where women are there to serve men, and no other reason. We can see a world where the threat of progression becomes too much for some to bear, and violence returns us to a world where females are slaves to mens desires.

I have hope that things will continue to improve, and that the progress we have made so far will continue to improve. Until men stand with us, and speak up about these things, though, there is no hope. It is time for men to pick a side. Stand with your wives, girlfriends, daughters, sisters, and friends, or stand quiet and watch as these same loved ones get murdered, raped, beaten, and harassed. Pick a side.